I am not on Video. Do I exist?

Damn.

Ever since the Covid started it's devastating cavort across the world, nobody ....I mean nobody at all has asked me to be on Video.

That's the new status thingy you know.

Who you are is now being measured, albeit tacitly, by the number of Webinars you have been invited to. The number of hours you have clocked up in heady life changing discussions.

My friends, my family members, hell....Each and every one of my competitors have been clocking up Zoom hours like a pilot on a looped up Transatlantic.

Truthfully....I am more than a little jealous. Nobody other one solitary interview by a friend

who just couldn't come to terms with my social ostracisation.

A month into the crisis, I grew quite desperate. Somehow I needed to get on Video. I needed people to see me. I needed that attention. Nobody was calling me and so I decided to shoot myself ........(in the foot as it were)........

And so I put the camera on a tripod....wore a microphone and decided that I would share great marketing thoughts with the world.

As I sat there ..... facing the camera....without looking into the monitor...my mind flew...Now this would be my first video...in time I would have 2 mn followers....They would talk about Kottler, Drukker, Modi and Me....They would give me millions for a word of advice....They would troll me and I would have the smartest replies ever....People would take my name in other webinars ....and there would a reverential hush....

In time...Hollywood would discover my voice and my profile.......it would discover my overall personality...and hire me for roles that only a Brando or a Niro could play.....Gravitas - That was me......

I would finally be famous.

And then I looked at the monitor. Ok! that angle was not working...too much of jowl...So I placed the camera a little to the North...It was still not ok....My stomach kind of covered everything else....Not working! So I moved it further north....no....That was not working either.

Was kind of unnatural.

So I did a zoom and focussed on my face...and that was when the penny dropped...the dong donged...the stars blinked and I knew I was doomed....

I was too ugly to look at myself...I couldnt hope for anybody else to listen with fascination to me....What would happen was I would achieve cult status because of my sheer ugliness...

Nah! not for me this! 'Yeh na hoga humse'...I mean ....Kahe? Why? Why give the world more pain?

I am a responsible man.

Tomorrow I will try Podcasting...yeah...no one will see me then.

#videos #webinars #stars